Enjoy life

It's amazing to watch the sun set at 9.15 pm. I am in the capital city of the empire where the sun never used to set. Those halycon days are over, so the sun does set, even though at a much later hour than what I am used to. In India the sun sets around 6.30 in the evening.

The evenings are so pleasant here, and the parks are full of people, some walking, some running and some out with their children. Yesterday there was an elderly couple at the park with their children. It was really nice to watch the parents enjoy themselves on the slides as well as the swings. Its seldom that older people let go of their inhibitions and get in the spirit of childhood.

I saw a show of Charlie & Lola at the Polka Theatre in Wimbledon today with my grand children. It was really an interesting experience. I, who used to be so serious, immersed all the time in my work, planning the strategies and the actions that were to be taken the next day, enjoying children's theatre!!! Working in a Bank and managing a branch is a tough job. I always was thinking of ways to get the people to work and also to be more involved and interested in their work. Meeting my budgets and making profit for the bank was my life's ambition. Today, my biggest challenges are to manage my grandkids and to make sure that there are no tears, or at least as few as is possible. Life seems to have suddenly taken a turn and I seem to be living life and enjoying my everyday.

It doesn't feel like drudgery. My next day doesnt seem like a challenge. I dont have to keep firefighting all the time!!!

Yes, life can be like that too.

Happy, carefree, simple and beautiful.

I saw Mamma Mia-another feel good movie. Made me feel really good to be at the age where I am. If I want, I can really live my life with happiness. Its all in my mind, how I live and make the most of everything. Nobody's life is perfect, yet one can either cry or laugh at the situation. We can either look at the spilt milk and mourn the loss or simply clean the mess and move on. Only a lesson can be learnt, so that the milk doesn't spill again.

Marriage and happiness

There is so much of pain, misery and sorrow in this world. However hard one may try to remain out of the orbit of these, it is not possible to escape this distress.

We are so bound by our beliefs, our perceptions, our dogmatic views and thoughts of right and wrong, that we are bound in chains all the time.

Take the case of marriages for instance. Marriages in India they say are for keeps. I wonder why it is so. Marriage is only a social contract between two people. They take a lot of vows, make a lot of promises and take on a lot of responsibilities to make the marriage work. However, for any reason if the adjustments that are needed to be made are inadequate, or there is lack of trust, or cruelty of any kind by any one person, then there is bound to be a lot of unhappiness in the lives of the married couple. Yet, one sees that there are so many unhappy marriages, where people remain married for the sake of the children or fear of society, or fear of the future. Whenever one feels stifled and unhappy in any binding then it is the right time to think of obtaining freedom. Freedom does open up a lot of vistas and gives us scope to think of other things which may be more conducive to provide happiness.

The pursuit of happiness, stability in life and peace of mind is essential for the growth of the human mind. If there is no unhappiness prevalent all the time, a person gets the time to pursue various other things needed for personal growth. Staying in an unhappy relationship and trying every moment of your life to make adjustments so as to buy peace for some time is rather a sad pursuit which only wastes time, as, in the end one just does not gain anything. All that time, energy and resource spent for mending broken fences becomes an exercise in futility.

It is time one took stock of the situation. There should be no reason to deceive oneself, and the world. It is time to take positive action, to assess the worthiness of a relationship and after taking stock of the situation, one should decide if remaining unhappy and keeping a face for the world is better or remaining honest with your ownself and the world is a better option .

If wishes were horses.......

Very impulsively in January this year I went to meet my childhood friend Amita. I met her after almost fifteen years. She couldnt get over the fact that I went all the way to Calcutta to only meet her, spending so much money. We relived our days of childhood and youth. Remembering this that and the other. Those two days will remain etched in my memory forever. I was so happy. Amita reminded me that while in college I used to say that all the wishes of a person should not be fulfilled just for the asking. I used to think that if all desires were fulfilled so easily then there would be nothing left to desire, which would make life so dull and boring. If there is nothing more to wish for - life would come to a standstill. No challenge would remain.

Surprisingly, I still believe in that philosophy. One should live well, but aspiration, hope, and dreams must remain.

Money should be enough to live a good happy life. It should not be so much that one would start looking for ways to spend it. It shouldnt be so much that one would want to find activities to spend that money on. There is so much want and poverty in this world, that every day is a struggle for so many.

I wish to have peace of mind. I wish to be satisfied with what I have. I wish to lead a meaningful life. I wish that I can make a difference to the lives of those who I come in contact with.

I wish to continue to enjoy a walk in the rain. See the lovely smiles of my dear grand children. When their faces light up on seeing me-thats my reward. If I can soothe a few ruffled feathers and make someones life more comfortable-I would be happy.

I wish to remain a seeker. I wish that my thirst for knowledge never ends.

I wish that I remain interested in all things happening around me.

I wish to always remain reasonable, rational and real.

I wish that I never have to resort to dishonesty - for anything.

I would love to listen to and sing beautiful songs.

I want to remain in good health, and not be a burden on anyone.

I have always been able to get whatever I desired.

I wish that all these desires of mine be fulfilled.

Inner wisdom

In the editorial page of Times of India today the 9th of July, there is a thought provoking article about God and Religion. God has always been a matter of interest for me. How this thought rules the lives of almost all the people inhabiting planet earth, is mind boggling.

All future deeds, actions, plans, atonement for past deeds, depend upon this one word-God!

We all want to depend upon an external strength of support. In times of sorrow, anguish, dilemma, fear or depression, I as most others would want a supporting pillar of strength, who would guide me out of the darkness and lead me to light. I feel most of us trust the one called "God" and seek his intervention. It is said that one has to only seek within oneself and the fountain of wisdom, strength, guidance will be available to us. Instead of taking credit for this solving of our own problems we simply relinquish the good done by our ownself and give away the honours to the one whom we call God.

Is it our modesty or low self esteem or ignorance about our ownself that makes us not acknowledge our wisdom?

My wisdom which comes with age, experience in my daily life, interaction with people, the changing seasons, the different aspects of nature, the beautiful earth which I inhabit. All these teach me a lesson every day. How I react to others, how they react to me, gives me feedback every day. All this information, experience, makes me what I am. All this helps me to deal with every issue in my own way. Each person therefore reacts to a situation in a different way. Its the result of each persons different experience on earth.

Learning

My little grand daughter who is only four years old performed on stage yesterday. She learns ballet and took part in four items performed on stage for which tickets were sold. It was such an exhilirating experience for me. As a student of life, I watched with amazement the innocence of childhood. The mind of a child is so free, everthing is done without any motive attached to anything. Her getting ready, changing outfits in quick succession, waiting in the queue to go on stage everything was done so precisely with the simple objective of going up on stage and performing. I could see that none of the children expected any rewards, they were just doing what they were expected to do. Between their acts all the children were running around and playing, without any tension. At the end of the performance each of the little performer got a little teddy bear as a memento. There was so much happiness on the little bright face of my grand daughter when she came back into the green room, that I find I do not have the right words to describe that expression. She had been in the theatre from eleven in the morning, she had two shows on that day, and she got free only around ten in the night.

All the world is indeed a stage and we are all playing our role in it. If we can write our own script and enact the role as per our own desire then there is nothing better than that. If we can play our role without attaching any motives and expecting rewards, life would be very fulfilling, because whatever we get, would then be a bonus. I wish I too can lead my life as simply as this philosophy sounds.

In my journey through life, I have seen different facets of different kind of people. Some people plan everthing in their life. A few have ulterior motives attached, some may want property, some may want to replace someone else, some may want to show their power. Some other people live totally confused lives. They are always seeking and dont know what they want. Come to think of it, I think this is the category to which I belong. I dont know what I want. All that I know is that I dont want to be just a passerby on this planet. I want to make my life meaningful.

We all pay for our past deeds in this very life itself. What we sow in our life we will reap ourselves. I know I have this one life to live, once I die I will simply finish, only to live in the memories of some people. Some will remember me happily, a few will remember me just like that.

I wish to learn from these different experiences. I wish and want to make my life better.

LEARNING

Throughout my life,I was governed by a lot of do's and dont's. It was always rules which were meant to be followed, never broken. Somehow, I never wanted to rebel against anything. Always did what I was told. If I felt something was different and not as per my wishes, I would simply think that perhaps that was another way of looking at things. If needed I would change my path and take the line of least resistance. Try and amalgamate myself with the situation. Why rock the boat was always my policy. If there was no way out, then I did try to accept and adjust to the situation.

Life did go on smoothly, maybe at a little discomfort to me. Nevertheless, I was happy. Not meloncholic nor delving in pity for myself. I never sought pity too, in fact I resisted it totally. All my life I have been happy and felt that I did a good job in whatever I did.

Its only now that I have begun to feel disillusionment in a lot of things. I often wonder if I was correct in the way I lived and the decisions that I took. I agree that it is the past that cannot be changed. Some will say that one should not think about the past-but I feel that unless one looks at the past and tries to analyse the deeds, there is no chance of correction.

Life is a continuous process of learning. There is no end to learning and improving oneself.

One only learns from ones own mistakes and experiences.A lot of people are rigid and think that it is difficult to change with the times and also to learn new things and to adapt to new innovations. Yes, it is a little difficult, but then, learning anything new is difficult. Older people only fear to take new steps and, appear naive in front of younger persons. If one remembers that no one is perfect and learning can be at varying paces it would become easier to learn.

One fact I know and believe in-our cells keep getting renewed all the time. A lot of our cells are dying and a lot of new ones are coming up. Ageing slows us down, but then accepting that slowness and still attempting to renew our knowledge will keep us up to date.