My wish for you.

As time passes faster, I look at the passing scene,
A train journey, sitting on the steps of the compartment,
Looking at the paddy fields of the Terai region,
Villages, hamlets, towns and bridges,
Beautiful, picturesque, colorful, vibrant,
My journey full of life,chugging at full speed,
Stopping, moving, going ahead fast, faster, faster,
I have loved all the stops,
I have enjoyed meeting people,
Some good, some bad and some, Oh!so indifferent,
Some were nice, some were mean, some were very vengeful,
Yet all those whom I met are a part of my life,
My memory, my learning experience,
Life, I love you,
People in my life, you make my life worth it,
I wish each one of you a great year, a happy year, a lot of colour, vibrance, love
And above everything else,
MAY ALL YOUR dreams come true,
May all your wishes be fulfilled,
May 2012 bring you immense happiness!

AS THE YEAR ENDS...SOME THOUGHTS!

When things are good we don't realise that nothing comes free in this world. Even the breath that we inhale needs us to exhale. If we do not give but only take, then we are likely to spoil goodwill and generate imbalance. It is very easy to hurt someone, to cause misunderstandings, and to build up reservoirs of resentment which lead to strained relationships.

One keeps harbouring ill feelings and building up barriers. We seldom talk and clear misunderstandings. Our own thoughts keep on putting up one barrier after another, until we completely move very far away from some people, without there actually being any real reason for building up that barrier. One has to actually forgive and forget. Not forgiving a person for something that could just be a misunderstanding keeps on hurting us forever, as we keep reminding ourselves of that hurt. If I forgive that offender of "once", I will move on free of that burden of pain, and misery. We are the ones who harm our own self. The power to attain happiness and move on in life is within our own self. No one hurts me, no one harms me, it is I alone who is responsible.  We have the power to brood over sad thoughts or move on. Moving on is best because a rolling stone gathers no moss!

Dwelling on the past, takes us back to the same old street of pain.  Old hurts need time to heal. Even if a scar remains, at least the hurt has gone.

Forgiving opens up large vistas of freedom from suffering, pain and resentment. I remember the words of my father, who was a great forgiver. He always said "forgive them, because they are ignorant". Then I always used to argue with him, and say why should you forgive? If someone has harmed you, there is no need to forgive that person. Dad would not argue with me but would leave me with that thought. Now, I realise that it is magnanimous to forgive, and we human beings, have great capacity to do what we wish to do. Faith moveth mountains. Have faith in your own self and sure enough you will be able to move that mountain of hatred, venom, grudge, fear and feeling of inadequacy and failure from yourself.

Once free of these incapacitating feelings, one can always find a place of sunshine, happiness, brightness and enjoy life, as it is meant to be enjoyed.

LATA-MY FRIEND

I wish you could read what I wrote for you ae dost,

I will miss you, I can't tell you how much mere dost.

You were me, I could see myself in you,

You were me, I could relate to you,

You have taken me away from my own self,

I will miss what  you have taken away with you,

My laughter, my funny soul,

My jovial friend,

My support, my strength, my little guardian angel,

You were my refuge,

The one who gave me shelter in times of distress,

 You took me under your wing in times of my stress,

Did you know it's been 36 long years my friend?

Today I look at you and cherish your friendship.

Your laughter, your calling out to me,

Varsha, kab aayegi? Aa ja na!

Lata, I will miss you everyday of my life,

Lata, my soulmate,

Remain with me in a corner of my heart.

I will enshrine your memory and your infectious laughter,

Mere dost, you were with me, always,

You will still be with me in my heart forever! 

MEMORIES DO NOT WITHER AWAY!

It was the year 1970. I was very naive when I got married and moved to Bangalore where my husband called TNN, was employed with Hindustan Aeronautics Ltd.

I had never cooked or learnt how to look after a house. As my father was in a transferable job and busy with building the modern temples of India, we were posted in far off places with almost no good school facilities. To begin with we were at Hirakud Dam Project in Orissa. At the age of five, I followed a girl called Shashi Aggarwal, and was admitted to St Joseph's Convent in Cuttack which was about 280 kilometers away from Hirakud. I stayed in the Boarding House. Ever since then up to my Graduation, I remained in Boarding Schools.

During school holidays when I went home, I never ventured into the kitchen area. My mother would teach me embroidery, knitting and such other beautiful skills, in which I had more interest.

When I landed up in Bangalore after marriage, I was happy to see that my husband had taken a pretty little house on rent in the posh area of Sankey Tank at Upper Palace Orchard. He took me around the house showing me the place and then finally took me into the kitchen and showed me a beautiful cupboard where there was a box filled with chocolates that I loved. I was totally floored! It was then that I saw something else. There were rows of neat boxes full of various things which are needed in a kitchen. I was aghast, bewildered, shocked, scared and what other word have you, to describe my plight!

I had reached my Waterloo, so soon in life!

Not having a single clue about how to go about it, I decided to wait and see how things went from there. I did not even know how to make tea. My culinary skills were limited to only boiling rice and an egg! That was the end of my cooking story! My marriage was what people call a "love marriage" and we had known each other for almost 3 years, so I owned up. For a couple of days we went exploring the various eating joints in this pretty city. Our favourite haunts were Brigade Road, Commercial Street and MG Road. Sometimes the Railway Station too saw us frequenting the Railway Restaurant, where good chicken biryani was served at a reasonable price. Finally Dooms Day arrived and TNN bought a recipe book and said let's start cooking at home. We decided on making aloo and roti. I realised that kneading the dough was extremely difficult. I would first add flour, then water, then flour, more water until finally there were lots of tears also shed. We finally settled for rice and aloo sabzi.

As time passed I learnt from a Gujarati friend how to cook a simple meal.

Those days TNN would leave for office around 8 am. He used to walk up to the main road from where he would catch the HAL Chartered bus. One day immediately after TNN left the house, the bell rang. I thought TNN must have left something behind, but instead I found a man with a basket of roses in his hand. He said that he was a gardener and was selling those rose cuttings. He told me that the sahab who had just left, had seen him around the corner and told him to give the plants to me for Rs. 30. In those days Rs. 30 was a princely sum, as my dear husband earned Rs. 600 only. He was a Management Trainee in the prestigious HAL. I was delighted to realise that my husband knowing my love for gardening had arranged for rose cuttings to be delivered to me. I, the young, naive, silly girl with stars in my eyes was really impressed. I quickly brought out the Rs. 30 and sent the gardener off. I then lovingly planted the cuttings in my tiny garden. In the evening when TNN came home, I thanked him profusely for his kind gesture. He was surprised and then after seeing the cuttings of roses, my endevour to plant them, my fast parting with the money and my abject stupidity at getting so easily duped, sent him into a delightful uncontrolled bout of laughter!

To this day even after 41 years of marriage, of which 30 years were spent working for the prestigious State Bank of India in a Senior management position, I am still laughed at for my abject naivety!

Oh! The innocence of youth!

These  memories were secretly tucked away safely in my mind's safe deposit vault, and have been brought out today to share some anecdotes with you.

FRIENDS!

Friends are those, whom you choose,

Friends are those, whom you use,

Come rain, shine, hail or snow,

Your friend will always to your wishes bow,

Your friend will never let you feel alone,

A friend's mind is like your own clone.

A true friend is a rare breed,

Never let them go, never let them be freed,

Your love, your support, your being,

Everything is for that friend, who means a lot to you,

Cherish friendship, see the bond grow,

Friends are rare, so do take care,

Your friend is actually your own reflected self,

Be honest, be true, and enjoy your friendship till kingdom come!

MEHRAULI OR MEHRAWALI!

QUTAB MINAR

The oldest part of Delhi which has continuously been inhabited for the last one thousand years is Mehrauli. The best known structure in this area is the Qutab Minar which was built in the 12th Century during the rule of the Slave Dynasty. My fondest memories of Qutab Minar are associated with my favourite film stars Dev Anand and Nutan. A very beautiful song "Dil ka bhanwar kare pukar" was picturised within the narrow confines of the stairs of the Minar. Romance oozed out of this song due to the extremely stylish Dev Anand and the beautiful, charming and naughty Nutan.

I find history very interesting, and walks are very exciting. I discovered that walks to historical places are organised by "Delhi Heritage Walks"and I decided to spend a beautiful Sunday morning going on a Discovery trail with them. Our guide knew a lot, and described the place very well. The walk that I took was in the "Mehrauli  Archaeological Garden" where one watches one's step carefully as one could be treading over the tomb of some  person of either the Slave, Lodi or Mughal dynasty. This place is full of ruins, and one walks over a lot of history.  I was quite amazed to see the tombs, ruins, mosque and baoli(well) located inside this park. Raja Anangpal   the Gujjar King from Kannauj constructed the Lal Kot around 731 AD. Prithvi Raj Chauhan of Sanyogita fame further expanded it and called it Qila Rai Pithora.

Then Mohd Ghori of Afghanistan invaded, conquered and left behind his representative, his slave, Qutab ud din Aiback in charge of Delhi. The Slave dynasty thus started. They built the Qutab Minar. Razia Sultan belonged to this dynasty. This area was later called Mehrauli.

BALBAN'S TOMB

The first tomb that I saw in this Archaeological garden was that of Balban who ruled for almost 40 years in the 13th century. Before him there were a number of rulers who ruled for short durations.  Balban ruled continuously and ruthlessly. Balban's  tomb is now in ruins, but one can see from the ruins that once upon a time the mausoleum must  indeed have been majestic. His son's tomb is also close by and there are some blue tiles and a little bit of beautiful design on the walls. The roof does not exist. Either it is time which has taken its toll or vandals who have removed the embellishments or even the stones and bricks. Ibn Battuta, the Moroccan traveler who visited Delhi about 40 years after Balban mentions this tomb in his account as a shrine where “all debtors who entered it had their debts discharged, and if a man who had killed another took refuge there ,the Sultan bought him pardon from the friends of the deceased.”

As one walks on we can see the newly excavated ruins which show us the way people lived then. There are foundations and walls of rooms with niches for keeping the lamps for lighting up the place.

JAMAL KAMALI TOMB-ROOF

One moves on to an enclosed area which is kept under lock and key. This is the tomb of a Sufi poet called Shaikh Fazalullah. His pen name was Jamali. He lived during the times of Sikandar Lodi, Babur and Humayun. His tomb is called Jamali Kamali. It is a beautifully maintained tomb, square in shape.  Kamali was an unknown person but was associated with Jamali and his antecedents have not been established. Their names are tagged together as "Jamali Kamali"  as  they are buried adjacent to each other.

JAMALI KAMALI TOMB

There is a mosque adjacent to the tomb. The mosque and tomb were constructed between  1528-1529 but Jamali was buried in the tomb in 1535. This tomb has a flat roof which is plastered and beautifully decorated.  I was surprised to see Rangoli patterns on the panels of the wall. One normally associates Rangoli with the area South of the Vindhyas. The main colours used here are red and blue with some Koranic inscriptions and very beautiful patterns. This tomb is worth a visit. The place is kept under lock and key as a few years ago there was an agitation to reclaim the mosque for conducting prayers. 

  Another tomb in this complex is that of Quli Khan, who was the brother of Adham Khan and the son of  Maham Anga the wet nurse of Akbar.

Sir Thomas Metcalfe the Last British Resident in Delhi during the rule of the last Mughal emperor Bahadur Shah Zafar II, purchased a lot of land in the  Mehrauli area. A number of tombs were located within the area purchased by him.  He converted the tomb of Quli Khan into his Residence and called it Dilkusha.  He made a Boat House by diverting streams of water to make a tank which was used for boating and swimming. Steps built from the boathouse lead to his residence.  He also built, in “pseudo Mughal” style, a Chhatri or a folly with a dome and arches,  which  was surrounded by a sprawling landscaped garden. The central hall of the tomb of Quli Khan was converted into a dining hall. Two wings were added as annexes. He also converted some of the old buildings around the tomb into guesthouse, staff quarters and stables It is also recorded that  Metcalfe,  spent a lot of time at this place during his 40 years in Delhi.

METCALFE'S FOLLY!

In Metcalfes words,"The ruins of grandeur that extend for miles on every side fill it with serious reflection.The palaces crumbling into dust... the myriads of vast mausoleums, every one of which was intended to convey to futurity the deathless fame of its cold inhabitant, and all of which are now passed by, unknown and unnoticed. These things cannot be looked at with indifference."

There is another beautiful construction in this area which is quite different from tombs and actually is all about life. It is the "Rajon ki baoli" or the well of the Masons. These are subterranean water bodies and is actually a  huge step well. There are many floors as one goes down and there are rooms on every floor. With the water table of  Delhi having gone down this has now become a "sookhi(dry) baoli".

RAJON KI BAOLI(STEPPED WELL)

Delhi has always fascinated me and after seeing these majestic ruins which tell the tale of long- long ago, I could almost see apparitions of people going about the business of murder, plunder, intrigue and the change of rulers from one dynasty to another.

Delhi is replete with history, rulers, dynasties, and beautiful structures. Sadly, these structures only pay tribute to the dead, they are mostly tombs!

GRATITUDE

MY SECOND BIRTHDAY

Sitting in a room with my mother, I reflect upon life.
Life has come a full circle.
My mother looked after me, she made me what I am.
Today I look after her, as best as I can.
My values, my beliefs, my destination, me....all molded by my parents.
Had my parents not put me in the school that I went to, I would have been different.
Had they not told me that I have to stand on my own two feet, I would have been different.
Had they not insisted that in this wide world I have to find my own niche, I would have been lost.
Had they not provided me with food, education, values, and the direction to follow the right path, I would have been different.

Today, when I see her, still trying to show me the path, I marvel at how much a parent does for their children.
I hope all children would realise that had it not been for parents sacrifices we would not have been enjoying our life, as we do today.
Time goes by.life goes by, we move on.
Spend some time to reflect upon all those who made you what you are today.
Instead of remembering those who harmed us and gave us grief, let us remember those who made us laugh, who lit our way.
Those who rejoiced with us,those who put up with us.
Those who loved us with all our faults.
Those who stood by us come what may.
Say thank you while you can.
Feel grateful while you can.
Show them your love, while you can.

I with my grand daughters and mother

CHAITALI!

My life would not have been the same without my daughter Chaitali.

Daughters are a mothers dream come true. What a woman could not achieve in her life, she wants her daughter to achieve.

A daughter fills the home with a lot of cheer, colour, music, noise and tantrums. She twists her father around her little finger. All her desires have to be fulfilled, all her needs are 'essential'. She knows what she wants and how she can get it!

What would the world be without these cute little people who make a tired mother feel refreshed with a cute little hug from her daughter?

Chaitali has always been a pillar of strength. My biggest support and trouble shooter.

Little girls with frilly skirts,ribbons and lots of bangles on their arms always bring the picture of Chaitali in front of my eyes.

Mummy, I want this, that and the other! 

A girl who started baking cakes from scratch at the age of eight and fought tooth and nail with me because she did not want to simply be a graduate. She wanted something more. Always a rebel....she had her way and joined a three year programme of Interior Design. This degree has remained simply a degree as she has like the jing bang crowd actually signed up for a three year course of Management at London. She has become a bureaucrat and works for the Greater London Authority, where she is very popular. As in school in Delhi she has still retained her image in London as the "smiling captain"!

Her daughter Aaliya is another chip of the block. She too is pretty, fond of baking and a typical girlie girl!

The way Chaitali disciplines her children, makes me look at her with astonishment. I was never that strict, I think.

One of her sentences which I like very much is, "Which part of that sentence did you not understand!"

I see myself reflected in my daughter. She is surely a much improved version of me, yet she is me.

She has been a little mother ever since she was a baby. Always taking charge of things, always being responsible, always caring for everyone. She has given very generously to everyone, her time, her love, her care and concern.She has been a good friend and runs to offer her shoulder to anyone who is in distress,without thinking about her own self.

She has been the most generous in loving stray dogs and puppies. Her ambition in life was to be a vet. Here again I had put my foot down, quite strongly. All the stray dogs and puppies in the neighbourhood and at her bus stop were her adopted family. At the age of eight she sneaked a little puppy into my house, because I was very adamant and refused to keep a pet. Nutty as that little puppy was called later on went all the way to Hyderabad from Chandigarh when I was transferred.

Chaitali a very loving, caring and beautiful girl makes me feel very proud to be her mother.

Thank you dear girl, thanks for coming into my life and making it so beautiful, colourful and lively.