LEELAWATI NAGPAL

In Pakistan there is a town called Imnabad  or Eminabad. It is near Gujranwala. This little town was the place where Saraswati was born in the family of Lala Sharampat Rai Gulati, sometime in the beginning of the last century, most probably on 13th April 1905. Her father was a government servant and from what I had heard, he was a 'Dipty' or a Deputy something. He lived near the canal and had a horse on which he rode to go around on inspection.He must have been  someone in the revenue service of the then Government of British India. Saraswati belonged to a large family. She had three brothers and six sisters.
At the age of sixteen, in the year 1921, she was married to Narain Das Nagpal, the son of a cloth merchant of Gujranwala. Her name was changed to Leelawati and that is what she remained for the rest of her life.Her brother Lajpat Rai,who was called Unca by his nephews,was the only one who would  always call her Sarasati.

Devi, Neena, Prem, Mataji, Pitaji

Leelawati alias Saraswati, became my mother in law in 1970.

Her story is what I would like to tell you today. Leelawati was a very beautiful woman, who was stylish and also had a very strong personality. In the early twentieth century,women were not educated much. The aim of most women then was to just get married. Leelawati was not satisfied to be just a housewife, so she educated herself after marriage and graduated from the Punjab University, which was located at Lahore. In those days, I am talking of the year 1924, there was no University in Delhi.
By this time Leelawati or Mataji as she was called, already had a daughter who was named Phulan. Perhaps from the day Phulan was born her dowry started getting collected. Mataji lived in Delhi as Pitaji was working in the Education department at Delhi. Their ancestral house was in Gujranwala, and therefore all the dowry was collected and kept in that house. It is another story that during Partition, all those saved goods were lost. There were about forty trunks full of stuff.
After Phulan the couple had two sons Surender and Dharampal who both died as infants. Leelawati went to all the pilgrimage centers of North India and prayed for a child who would live. After long penance, a daughter was born in Shimla in 1932, who was named Devika, and kept a vegetarian as she was a gift of God. After this three more girls were born, named Pushpa, Premlata, and Neena, but then in a Hindu family having a son is compulsory, or else it is thought that there would be no salvation for the ancestors! So again began that journey to all the pilgrimage centres of North India. All the difficult places were visited and promises were made that stones would be donated and all sorts of penance would be undergone so that they could have that much desired son! Finally a son was born in December 1945. He was named Trilokinath.



Prem and Cuckoo

 Leelawati was a modern lady with modern thoughts. She was determined to educate her daughters and bring them up as boys were brought up, with equal opportunity. To the credit of that lady goes the success of all the daughters of the house. Each daughter turned out to be better than the other. Devika Rani joined the Education department and retired as a Dy. Director. She was a double M A. Pushpa and Neena became Doctors. Neena was a Gold medalist from Lady Harding Medical College, Delhi and received her gold medal from the then President of India, Dr. Zakir Hussain. Neena  later on became the Dean of Maulana Azad Medical College. Pushpa worked in the Nuclear Science Lab in Delhi as a Doctor.Premlata was  a Professor of English Literature in Delhi. She did her Doctorate from Canada and has a lot of literary work to her credit. She is a poet and has a lot of work published. Phulan also worked as a Teacher in the Government School of Delhi. It was a rare feat in those days for women to work. People generally had the thought that women should stay at home and look after the home. Working women were looked down upon, and some people even thought that it was derogatory for women to work. I salute my mother in law for having the vision to educate her daughters and give them the direction to be self sufficient and the courage and conviction to face the world as individuals with their own personality.
Mataji, was very fashionable and always wore silk sarees. She was a devout Hindu while her husband was more of an Arya Samaji.She was quite flexible in her views and did not observe very rigid religious fasts and strictures.

Neena with Dr. Zakir Hussain

After the Partition of India a number of her family members had to flee from Pakistan. Mataji accommodated a number of such relatives. My in laws helped rehabilitate a number of relatives and helped them get employment in the Government Service. Phulan had got married at an early age due to pressure from the family. After that mataji became her own master and decided that no one could force her to marry her daughters off in haste. The family ultimately turned out to be truly modern. All the children married people of their own choice. There was a Malayali, a UP Kayasth, a Maharashtrian brought into the family.It was national integration at its best.
Mataji ruled her house with a firm hand. Her daughters were excellent cooks, and great house keepers in spite of having a career of their own, in a man's world! Prem the Professor was always a story teller. She tells us that once Pushpa was very ill and Mataji had to be away from the house attending to Pushpa. Prem had to cook the food and look after her younger brother and sister. Prem would keep the two children  beside her in the kitchen and tell them stories. Once the dal got burnt. Prem was very scared that her mother would get annoyed, so she told Neena and Cuckoo(Trilokinath) to pray that the burnt smell of the dal would go away.
Sometimes when her roti got burnt those would be thrown up on the roof of the house!Anything would be done rather than face the wrath of her mother, who was very fastidious!

Mataji and Pushpa at leisure

Cuckoo was the apple, pear, orange, and every other fruit of his mother's eye. When he joined Hindu College to study Physics Hon's a scooter was bought for this royal prince. As was expected prince charming spent all his time measuring the galis of Delhi and failed the examination! That was quite a shocker for everyone and the Prince charming having learnt a lesson, joined Engineering College and then always passed his exams with flying colours.
My father was a staunch atheist while my mother in law was a great believer in God. The discussions that they had were often quite interesting. All the other observers in the house would be petrified as both the people were strong personalities, yet they never clashed. They discussed and each one left the other with dignity and their own beliefs.
Mataji loved travelling, fun, picnics and movies. Her favourite hero was Ashok Kumar. 
After pitaji retired from the Government Service, he worked for some time in Bangrod near Ratlam with his brother, Manoharlal Nagpal. Later Mataji and Pitaji came and stayed with us in Chandigarh and then Hyderabad. She died on 19th November 1986, in my house at Hyderabad.
She was a  very strong personality, an intelligent lady, a visionary, and emancipator of women. She was beautiful, graceful and an excellent cook. She was full of life and laughter. I wish I could befriend her and know her better. It is now 24 years since she left us, yet her laughter and cheerful countenance is still remembered and missed.

4th November 2010.



On the see saw Varsha and daddy



We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...... but Alas! All too soon, the days, months and years just rolled by and one day without saying goodbye to anyone my dad just died. None of his children was in Delhi when he died. One was in London, one was in Dar es Salaam and one was in Mumbai. None of us had ever thought that daddy would leave us, without telling us that he was going away. He was a very courteous  person and not a single day would pass without his wishing us a hearty Good morning, good evening or good night.

True to his nature, he did not give anyone even one hour of tension or anxiety at the hospital. No one had to EVER do a hospital run for my father. He was always very particular and took good care of his health. He was very regular with his walks, he was very careful with the food that he ate and  he was very generous with his time which was always available to anyone who approached him for anything.

He was a very caring, compassionate,and considerate person who had nothing but kindness for one and all. He was generous to a fault and was very approachable. He would go running to pick up the phone,and never thought that a phone at any odd hour was a disturbance. He could have been eating or sleeping, yet any phone call would always be attended to by him.

His helpful nature was such that anyone could approach him for help, and he would go out of the way to help the person. He would take the people in his own car all over Delhi and speak to any number of people to render help to the person. Often it was a thankless job, and he would not even get a verbal thank you in return. Even this sort of behaviour did not frustrate my father as, he thought that it was his duty to educate people. He would always say that if people do not know how to behave, then it is our duty to teach them.

Long long ago, in the 50's, he was posted at Nagarjuna sagar when the dam was being built. He was Deputy Director and had a jeep, which he loved to drive. While going to Hyderabad, he would give a lift to any number of people who asked for a lift. He would always say I need just a little space to drive, in the rest of the place, you people can adjust. His philosophy was, "arre bhai, bahut jagah hai, dil me jagah honi chahiye". I learnt this from him, and to this day, I can occupy the least possible space and accommodate any number of people in a car.

He was a person who believed whole heartedly in Buddha's philosophy of 'Atta Deep Bhava', which means be your own light. He believed that one must always reason out, and not follow anything blindly. His philosophy was very different from the philosophy of most parents who think that children must obey them as parents know best! We three children were given the freedom to  make all the decisions in our life. After one year of Engineering from IIT Delhi, Sunil my brother decided that he did not really like Engineering, so Daddy asked Sunil to study whatever he wanted to, and sure enough Sunil studied English Literature from St Stephen's College.

FUN LOVING PERSON

When he was Director in the Ministry of Defence Production, at a meeting with Mrs. Indira Gandhi he put forth his arguments on an important matter and convinced the then Prime Minister. Those were the days, when fearless men worked, spoke and were extremely honest!

He used to travel by Bus no 610 from Netaji Nagar to G block, his Office near Sena Bhawan. On returning home he would give his return journey ticket of Rs one to Anurag my son, who would wait everyday to get that ticket. Those were small gestures which brought big smiles.

Anurag with daddy in 2005

He was very simple in his needs. A beautiful song would bring tears to his eyes.He could forgive very easily. He never held a grudge against anyone. It was his generous disposition which made him always see the other side of a person's behaviour. He could reason out, and therefore could forgive easily.
He was extremely fun loving with a great sense of humour. He loved people and was the Pied Piper who could entice children away from their mothers. He was a person who would treat the lowliest of low with respect. He always remained a simple man from the very backward District of Gadchiroli,with impeccable manners, and style of a polished citybred.

Dad and mum 1949.

There are so many memories, which come flooding to my mind. Today, on the 4th death anniversary of my daddy, I wish for the legacy of having the generosity to forgive, the vision to see a beautiful world where there is no disparity, no discrimination, no favouritism, and no nepotism. I wish that I live a life as fulfilling as my father's. I wish that I never hold a grudge against anyone.

I quote from The Dhammapada,my wishes for everyone,

"Sabbe satta sukhi hontu, 

Sarve santu niramaya.

Sarve bhadrani paschchantu

Ma kashchit dukkhbha bhavata”.

Au revoir.