I am preaching, but from my heart!

ALONE !

Each person in this world is an island by himself. We all live alone, all by ourselves. Throughout life we  keep building up relationships. Parents, siblings, spouse, children...everyone relates to the other and lives within these boundaries.

In spite of this we are all alone. Our thoughts, desires, hopes, aspirations, are totally individualistic. What hurts us, what makes us feel humiliated is also different One mans meat is another man's poison.

What we like to eat, how we like to sleep, how we want to spend our free time is all our own. We are all lonely people who try to maintain peace and harmony at home so that we can combat our loneliness. We therefore give in to anothers demands, advice and solicitations.

CO EXISTENCE MOUNTAIN, HOUSE, TREES!

We simply go on accommodating every one else. Trying to keep up with the Joneses, trying one up man ship  Trying and simply trying some more.

Ultimately do we really get any peace and happiness? None of us can live devoid of company, yet even surrounded by everyone else too, often life is lived in solitude. It is quite a lonely existence. A child waiting for endless domestic quarrels to end, a wife waiting for her tormentor of a husband to leave her in peace, an old mother waiting for a word with her son, a distraught husband trying very hard to keep peace with his acid tongued wife. Loneliness, engulfs everyone. Each one is fighting a battle every day.

Why is there so much strife, discontent,ego? Why is there the endless effort to blame someone else for all your mistakes?

We take life so much for granted, we take our beloved people so much for granted, that it is only when some disaster strikes that we realize that there are many more dangers lurking in our life. There are many more problems that can make our world go topsy turvy. We fight over senseless things like a car honking behind us, at the fellow who pushes us out of the queue, at the maid servant who was absent without notice. We fret, fume and spill venom through our tongue. I wonder if that takes us anywhere. We only spoil our own day further. We build up our anxiety level, build up our blood pressure and spoil our health. Can we not live in peace? Accept that each one of us is different. Each has their own likes and dislikes, each one has their own space, which must not be violated.

CO EXISTENCE -RAIL, ROAD, TREES, MOUNTAINS

Let us live in harmony. Loneliness exists even in a relationship. Therefore keeping up the dialogue, but also allowing our own family members the freedom to choose what they want is important. To live life as they want, live harmoniously with some give and take, respect and consideration for the others. A kind thought and sensitivity to the emotional needs of the others. 

Tolerance, acceptance, adjustments are not mere words. They are very important actions that need to be made a practice in our life.

GENERATION GAP!

1968

When I was young, oops! What was I saying? Did I just admit that  I am old? Oh my gosh, I can never accept that, can I? NEVER!

So, when I was younger than what I am now, I always thought that I, or the people of my generation would not have a generation gap with our younger generation. We, after all were the generation of the Flower power, the Hippie cult, the free birds who were born in a free India. Most of us had emerged out of the so called old fashioned pattern of girls being educated only to be ready for the marriage market. Then, the ultimate target of a girl's father was to find a suitable groom and get the girl married off. The kanya daan was considered the biggest daan of all. Our generation broke free from that mould, a lot of us competed and joined different services. Kiran Bedi was the first woman who entered the hallowed male dominated precincts of the Indian Police Service. The State Bank of India too opened its doors wide for girls to join the service as Probationary Officers. We were few in numbers yet we had come out and were all out to conquer the world.

The home fires had to keep burning, the quintessential mother in law who was of the older generation said quite openly, "I never asked her to work. Her main duty is to look after her house, family and children". So this radical daughter in law would become a good bahu at home and a good worker at her work place. At work we had to compete and prove that we were as good as the men. All of us made a grand success of both our responsibilities. Yes, I have proof that we all succeeded. I therefore thought that we the fighters, rebels, liberated leaders, would never have the problem of generation gap. 

This thought lasted until one fine day a friend of mine said to me that she felt very frustrated because she couldn't understand anything about the Internet, Facebook, e- mail, or Skype. She said that she felt like an illiterate person because she simply could not grasp these and kept forgetting the steps.  It then dawned on me that the world is progressing at a very rapid pace, and technology is moving very fast. Everyday there is a new thing coming up, and a new term is added to the vocabulary. 

LEARN, LEARN & LEARN

My grand children are experts at handling all the latest gadgets and often find a solution when I get foxed somewhere. I remember when I was small and when my father asked me to fetch his watch, I would be careful to hold it properly and hand it to him. When my children were small I would not allow them to play with the Tape Recorder or Music system. We kept them in glass cases. Now my children hand over their mobile phones to their children to play with. The grand kids have their own smart phones and I- pads too! In the beginning I did worry about the expensive gadget going to small little hands but then I realised that the parents trust their children. The children too handle the equipment properly. Amazing, isn't it?

This to my mind is the present day generation gap. Our generation was worried and too cautious.  We did not trust our children. We wanted to keep them sheltered and shielded. We guided them everywhere. We knew all their friends, we helped them choose their careers as well as their spouses. The newest generation on the other hand is very clear about what they want from life. What career would they want. Which friends they want, which games they wish to play and how they want to remain fit. 

Our Generation gap is all about  our trust. We still want to guide our children. We still raise doubts about our grand children being wise enough to take decisions on their own. We worry and think that we should be consulted, because we have wisdom gained with age on our side. But when I see the wisdom that my grand children have and the way their mind explores new fangled ideas, I think I have to take a back seat and allow them to take wings. Allow them to soar the skies. Allow myself the luxury of believing and knowing that they are safe because they know how to be safe. That reminds me last year my four year old grand daughter said to me," Dadi put on your seat belt. We have to be safe". With this kind of wisdom at such a young age, I think I can sit back and relax. I need to just enjoy the thought that we  equipped our children with proper education and they are in turn equipping their children with more opportunities to explore. I allowed my children some freedom and they are allowing their children some more freedom. 

Freedom to think, explore, question and take their own decisions. 

This generation gap I think can be bridged if we open our minds and understand that life is all about learning. There is no age to stop learning and so one can never sit down smugly thinking that we have seen the world and so  know what is best. We have to trust the new generation. We need to accept that to remain abreast with the present times we have to continue with our learning. With the younger generation becoming our teachers the gap is sure to become quite narrow.

2013