VULNERABLE WOMEN

VENUS DE MILO AT LOUVRE PARIS.

A baby girl is the pride and joy of her family. She is the chirpy little being who brings a lot of cheer, colour and beauty in her house. Yet I wonder if being born a girl is the worst thing that can happen? I believe in equality in every sphere of life. Yet, today I am wondering...I, who am a staunch feminist, am beginning to wonder if all that I believed in needs to be looked into once again.

The world as we know it today would not exist if there were no women in it. In my lifespan of six decades and a career span of 3 decades, I have met numerous women. Each one has a story in her life. Every story is not happy but most stories have a lot of tears, struggle and a fight for survival.

In this man's world a woman has to ‘adjust’ to ensure that she is allowed to live in her own home!

Women are empowered with education, they are economically independent, they are sometimes the only bread winner in the house, and yet what is her position?

I know of three women who were the only bread winners and the husband and children depended upon them. The women however kept up appearances to show the world that their husbands were employed and earning well. The world does not respect a woman who bears the burden of the family alone. Lies, deceit have to be resorted to, to save your own face!

GOSSIPING AT MONTREAL

In the days when I started working, few women took up jobs. The desire of most young girls then was to get married and settle down. Even those who did exceptionally well in academics had to seek permission from their families to take up employment.  Very "benevolent” in- laws would then grant the girl permission to seek employment. Most of them encouraged the girls to take up safe jobs like teaching, nursing, or opening a boutique. Very few parents encouraged girls to be economically independent, and I say that those parents who did were truly visionaries and also revolutionaries!

Today we see a number of women occupying senior positions in a number of organisations. All these women who are occupying positions of power today are there by dint of sheer hard work, courage, and to some extent revolt. It is a myth to think that they got there in due course, without a struggle. No woman could achieve anything easily. One had to fight, strive and survive.

I know of a lady who married of her own choice and was almost ostracised by her own parents. She had to adjust in her marital home where she stood out like a sore thumb. Nevertheless, she rose to the pinnacles of her career, without help from any one. It was a very dignified and lonely journey. I have seen her unwept tears, her utter helplessness and struggle to stay aloft. Her life has been one of total adjustment. 

Another lady also married out of her own choice and entered a huge joint family. Her life was also one of abject adjustment.

Both these women are highly educated and well placed, but have had to lead a life of struggle as they were always struggling to adjust in an unjust society. A woman has always had to prove herself on two fronts. The home front as well as the office front. In our times there was always another woman in the house watching where the younger woman could be tripped. In the office also there were numerous eyes watching where a fault could be located so that they could triumphantly declare why they were so apprehensive to take a woman in that position, in the first place.

CORONATION OF JOSEPHINE-PALACE OF VERSAILLES

A woman always has had to walk a tight rope. Any woman who talks with a male colleague with a little bit of familiarity was very easily branded as a woman with loose morals.

A man they say is a man. A man they say is flirtatious by nature! A wife who objects to his flirting, is quickly told that she does not understand and is backward. She is told to change her attitude. It is HER attitude which is WRONG!

Well, well well! What else can one expect in a man's world!

When I see injustice and the struggle for survival, I start wondering and thinking about what can be done, to change the situation.

Yes, indeed the world has moved on and girls today do not have to always be at war. This is because of the women of yester years, the strugglers who brought up their boys to respect women. The girls have been taught to realize that they are equal and not less than anyone else. In spite of women being in very powerful political positions in my country, I still see a lot of brutality and insecurity for women in their daily lives. Every day one reads of rape, honour killing or wife bashing. Jessica, Aarushi, the girl in the ladies compartment in Kerala, the national level kabaddi player who did not give her phone number to a CRPF jawan, the Call Center girl returning home late at night, all lost their lives, for what?

It makes me feel very afraid and insecure for all the young girls out in the world trying to carve a career for themselves, or simply trying to earn a living.

I hate to say this but, really this world is a dangerous place. There are dangers lurking at every corner. The need is to teach our daughters to tread cautiously. They must be told not to take needless risks, as it is always better to be safe than be sorry.Trying to be daring without a back up plan  will not really take her too far.  Women have to realize that they have to provide succor, strength, empathy and solace to other women. A shoulder has to be provided to those who need it, without being judgmental.  If every woman remembers that they are of one fraternity and need to look after each other, perhaps the world would become a better place for everyone.  If we unite and work together, our lack of physical strength could also be overcome with our other strengths.

MARIE ANTOINETTE- VERSAILLES

Girls are the most beautiful, compassionate, considerate, cheerful, caring people. Let us ensure that they inherit a safe world where they are respected and given their due space. Let them breathe fresh air, live in a free environment,  let them be free of fear and danger. This can only be achieved by men practicing equality at home and teaching by example that women are fellow human beings, not objects to be plundered, hurt and humiliated. Each one can teach one and do their good deed every day!