INDIAN MOTHERS IN THE WESTERN WORLD.

Indian women are really beautiful, gorgeous and graceful. I just watched a video of a dance performance by Jharna, my daughter in law(DIL) at Westford in USA. Watching that dance gave me goosebumps. I felt that way, because all these girls who performed have been living abroad, pursuing careers, looking after their homes and still carrying with them the torch of Indian heritage.

The sway, the rhythm and the utter grace with which they danced was a treat to watch. I felt very proud because one of the dancer's was my dear daughter in law. Indian girls will be Indian girls. However long they stay away from India, they will always remain Indian at heart. The culture that they grew up in, the music, dance, rhythm that they heard and saw is with them. The natural sway of their body remains with them.

The dance was a folk dance and the intrinsic beauty of folk came out beautifully in these urban girls living in the Western world. They amalgamate in the Western culture and also retain their truly Indian flavour. While working in office they are as the western work culture expects them to be, utterly professional and competitive. No one can decipher their soft and cultural binding. They appear so calm, collected, reserved and Western, as if they are the locals of the country where they work.

Once they get back home, they come back to their own Little India. They have their Festivals, their cultural get together, their niche where they nurture their Indianness. Hats off to these girls. In the Western world children are given freedom to think, grow and develop on their own. No restriction is put on them and they have the freedom to choose their career, live their life as they wish to, after the age of 16. In a free society where children are given options early in life, it must be very difficult for Indian girls to bring up their children in the way that they were brought up. In India we inculcate in our children the sense of belonging to a family, "khandan ka pressure". We put pressure on the children early in life to become something, study, pick up a career, make a life of their own. We teach children to respect elders, and also teach them that it is their responsibility to look after their parents in their old age.( Ahem! No hidden agenda here!!:)

In India our children have to listen to stories of how their forefathers studied and made a name for themselves etc etc. Our children therefore start competing very early in life. Right from Nursery class onwards, there is a competition for admission, which goes right up to a professional degree followed by an MBA. A child learns early in life that he has to study and compete. In the Western world competition is of a different nature. Choices are abundant, and no craft, career, or vocation is considered infra dig.

Having been brought up with this kind of value system, Indian girls who go to live abroad want their own children also to have the same value system and sense of importance of doing well academically. It therefore becomes necessary for them to teach their children a few things which are alien to the culture where their children are born and brought up.

I therefore congratulate our Indian girls who are able to maintain a correct balance and teach their children the importance of family as well as the art of respecting and listening to elders. I have seen a lot of girls leading a fulfilling life along with their demanding jobs, in spite of having no domestic help at home, bringing up children and also pursuing their hobbies by attending dance classes or singing lessons,or piano classes or even taking up post graduation studies. They also take their children to attend Hindi lessons, Indian Music, Indian dance classes besides the numerous other classes that children abroad generally attend. The amount of time available to each one of us is equal. It is 24 hours in a day for everyone. Yet how we distribute those 24 hours and make optimum use of it has to be seen to be believed.

I have observed Chaitali my daughter and Jharna my daughter in law very closely and marvel at their resolve to be the BEST in every sphere. The best in their work place and, the best mother to their children.

Our Indian girls are actually the best representatives of our country. They hold our values high, and teach their children that they are Indian and have to be achievers. The family ties and bonds are strong. The future of these children is bright. I do not see ABCD syndrome - American Born Confused Desi in these children. They appear to be quite balanced and happy as they are. They learn early in life that their skin colour is different, and that is all. They do not learn inferiority or superiority. They accept all kinds of people as equal. They learn some values at home, and get the best opportunity to study in the best environment. As there is little competition there is no pressure on these children to perform. They are therefore able to perform well without going through tension and stress. They therefore become outstanding people.

I say, it is all thanks to the parents who take the time to inculcate proper values, and devote time to drive the children to their various classes. Often parents have to fore go some comforts to educate their children in the best schools and also to enable the children to attend classes where they learn all these arts and other extra curricular activities. Hats off Indian parents of Desi children! I am partial to girls, so I am proud of Jharna, and Chaitali my children. I also am proud of and congratulate Anisha, Priti, Varija, Manjul, and Ketaki, whom I know and have observed closely.

Keep the flag flying high! Way to go Girls!!!