TIMES ARE CHANGING!!ARE THEY??

I belong to that generation of people,who were born when the telephone was a black box with the receiver attached to the main body. We had to simply pick up the receiver, get connected to an exchange, ask for our number, and then talk to the person. Telephones used to be a rare commodity and few people had phones in their house. Making a long distance call was even more difficult, as there was no STD system. We had to book calls and wait for hours to get connected. A trunk call would normally last for 3 minutes, with the operator interrupting when the three minutes were over, and one could extend the call for another three minutes.The refrigerator used to run on kerosene and was owned by only a few privileged people. Everyone else had cupboards, called a meat- safe, with net all around, where milk etc. was stored. Food was generally consumed in the same meal and there would be no left over food. Frozen food, convenience food was unheard of. Every house had surahis for drinking cold water,and also earthen pots called "ghada".Water was boiled and passed through a clean muslin cloth and kept in a cool spot. Bottled mineral water was unheard of. RO system and UV system never existed.

Cars were a rarity. Very, very few people owned them. Cycles or buses were the normal mode of transport for people going to work. There would be roads full of people on their bikes with their tiffin carriers going towards office. Families would travel by bus or tonga or ekka.Tongas used to ply from Connaught Place to the New Delhi railway station till at least twenty years back. Then came the phatphati or 4 seaters.

There was nothing known as the microwave oven...there was no concept of fast cooking. In fact there were no pressure cookers too. Food was cooked on slow fire. It was cooked ritualistically. There were the common chulhas in every house and stoves in some houses, angeethis were also common. Cooking of dal was a long drawn process and usually the dals were kept on the angeethi in the night to keep simmering on the slow fire overnight.

Vacuum cleaners,washing machines and dish washers had not even been heard of. The local maid servant called mai, or mahri or bai was the cleaner, clothes washer as well as the dish washer. Ovens were available in houses which were more westernised as they baked cakes which was a rarity.

Celebration of birthdays of children was usually a real children's party. Food was prepared at home. The usual was sandwiches, made very lovingly and carefully. All the family members contributed, someone applied butter to the bread slices, someone chopped the cucumber, tomatoes, boiled egg, someone else filled the stuff and another person cut the sides and gave it shape with the diagonal cut. These were then wrapped up lovingly in a moist cloth to keep them fresh and cold. Samosas were bought, so was the gulab jamun, and also the cake, but pakodas were fried at home. Wafers would also be there, and the cold drink served would invariably be Orange squash. It was fun to organise the games and plan the party on your own. Pinning the tail on the donkey blindfolded, passing the parcel, musical chairs, were regular games played with great laughter and joy. When I see the professionally planned parties of today, I wonder if the joy of planning and executing your own individualistic party was better or is it better today, where you simply pay and enjoy the party as much as your guests do.

In those days the father was the head of the family, and his word was law.Parents ruled very firmly and "spare the rod and spoil the child" was the general dictum of every household. A mother would control her children by simply looking at them with anger. There was no question of answering back or arguing. All children came back home in the evening and there was no late night partying or stay over at a friend's place overnight.

TV was non existent and radio was the main source of entertainment. Radio Ceylon ruled and Jhumri Tillaiyya and Daltonganj were house hold names as most requests for songs came from there." Aap hi ke geet" was a hot favourite, and the grandest of all was Binaca Geet Mala, on Wednesday evenings from 8pm to 9 pm. Amin Sayani had honey dripping from his voice and the 16 paydaans were dutifully jotted down by us youngsters. The trumpet or bigul used to play for the sartaaj geet. "Forces Request", "A date with you" were great favourites for Western music. Akashvani and the news at nine in the evening with Lotika Ratnam, Surojit Sen, Melville D'Mello were never missed by the head of the family. All children had to keep quiet for those 15 minutes.

Going abroad was a real luxury and very few people managed to go out of the country on vacations. Today every other person has been abroad for a trip or two. Money now seems to be growing on trees. Leave Fare concession was given even then, but most people took it as an opportunity to go back to their village or town and spend time with their family back home. Now almost everyone goes to tourist places. I wonder how many children of today have visited their ancestral place of origin.

Times have changed, life has changed, values have changed. Phones particularly mobile phones are now extremely common. The day my local vegetable vendor game me his phone number and said that I could place my order on phone, was the day it dawned on me that times have really changed tremendously. Now even a part time maid servant owns a mobile phone, and also has a bank account.

However progress also means that no work seems to get done in due course. One has to either find a connection or grease some palms for getting work done.

There was a theft recently in my mothers house. We were advised by all and sundry, including the local police man not to lodge an FIR. We were told that we ourselves would suffer as we would have to present ourselves in the court whenever summoned. Secondly, even if our stuff was found, we would have to produce evidence of the stuff belonging to us, with purchase receipts. Some of the stuff that was stolen was a gift, most did not have receipts as one does not usually keep receipts of everything that is purchased. We took the advise, and did not lodge the FIR.

Later on a friend recounted that there had been a theft in his factory. He lodged an FIR and a few of his own workers were taken away for questioning by the police. These people after the questioning were in a bad shape. My friend wanted to take back the report, and close the chapter, but he could not do so. He is quite unhappy and disillusioned about the whole issue.

I was also told about a person whose gas cylinder had been stolen. The cylinder was found, but was not returned to him. Later he took it on "superdary". SUPERDARY is an expression for releasing property involved in a criminal case to a person. But, that was a cause of great sorrow for him, as on the days of court appearance, which were numerous, he had to always take the cylinder with him to the court. Court cases are long drawn out affairs and normally take decades to reach a conclusion. Getting dates and further dates is a common occurrence. Imagine the plight of these people, who suffered on account of a theft, and then having the audacity to report the theft, kept on being harassed for a number of years, by the system!

One thing however has remained a constant over all these years. The treatment of women, and the way they are viewed by the world, remains the same. When I was born, people said to my father,"Never mind, Laxmi has arrived. Next time you will have a son". My father had then replied that he was proud to have a daughter and people could congratulate him. I worked for 30 years in the best bank of India, The State Bank of India which I joined as a Probationary Officer. I had my own Pan Card, paid my own income tax, had my own investments etc, etc. Yet when a commercial call comes from some consultant, he invariably wants to talk with Mr. Varsha Nagpal!!Yesterday I met a travel agent and asked her to get me a Visa for a holiday. She said madam, we will need your husbands savings and investments and income tax returns. She, an employed lady, could not take it for granted that I could be having my own financial identity and standing!!This is the year Twenty Ten, for you. I wonder when this particular mindset will change!!Well.....never mind...maybe some day this too shall change!!! I only wish it is in my lifetime.

I have learnt a lesson that it is best to turn a blind eye to a lot of wrong doings, that one comes across almost daily. Sticking my neck out has actually landed me with a cut on my throat. I therefore wonder if all that we are taught in school, has any meaning and relevance in today's world. The world teaches us a lesson everyday. Sometimes I wonder if I am turning cynical, but usually I think that I am only becoming street smart and worldly wise!!

The photographs above are of my two brothers and me, in the same sequence, after a gap of umpteen years!!!!Absolutely priceless.