I sometimes wonder where time has gone. I don't feel the advent of age. In fact the feeling that I am nearing the age of retirement, and would soon have the advantage of being classified as a senior citizen, simply does not make me feel fear or discomfort.
Is it strange? Am I in a state of denial-I wonder!
Am I trying to ward off age and it's appendages?
I remember as a young person I had thought that at the age of 40, my life would nearly be over. I would be over the peak of my life. Time did not stop for me and slowly the years rolled by.The forties turned to fifties and now, I am closer to my sixties. The fear of ageing is nowhere in sight. Physically, I still feel as young as ever. It's only the mirror which shows me my true picture. It doesn't appear fearful though. I like to see my reflection.The ageing lines do not disturb me.
With my self chosen retirement from the Bank, and ending the daily grind of a challenging, busy life, I chose to live with myself, for myself and on my terms. I had the freedom to wake up when I wanted to, tidy up, eat and get ready to face the world at the time I wanted to. Yet in spite of that freedom, I found that I woke up on time, got ready on time and lead a fairly regulated life. My pattern of life has not changed much, except that I am more relaxed and know that whatever I do is by my own choice. I love this freedom of living for myself.
My time is my own, and I am my own boss.
I wonder why people are not able to see the world beyond their work place.
Had my father been alive today he would have become 86 years old. 24th February was his actual birthday, although on official records it was the 8th of August. Daddy was one person who felt and lived as though he was not a day more than 40. He was absolutely agile, and always on the go. He read the paper voraciously, and wrote to the papers giving his views. His thoughts were very radical.He wrote and wrote and wrote. He was a person with a mission. Correction, not one mission, but a number of them. One of his pet desires was that people should always speak clearly, the truth, and in good proper language. He was impatient with people who mumbled. He had very clear ideas about life and the way one should lead it. He was one person who believed that there was no life after death.
He believed that there was nothing which was pre ordained or destined. As there was no rebirth, therefore there was no suffering or reward on account of a past life. The use of the word luck, fortunate, unfortunate did not exist in his vocabulary. He would also tell us never to use these words. I agreed with him totally, as the words that we use set our behavior pattern. The language that we use reflect our thoughts. These thoughts then get carried forward and we become retrograde.
Thoughts and language decide how we live. I know some people who have no crisis in life. They simply take life easy. Nothing affects them. They are totally relaxed. Someone else's pain does not bother them. They get everything in life on a platter. They are the ones who are content with what they get. They live in bliss and are rather indifferent to others. They do not care about those who take the pains to make their life comfortable. They are quite oblivious to the existence of others. They take everything for granted.
On the other hand are those who keep slogging to make life easy for others. These people do care for themselves, but always give priority to others. The need to comfort others, and fulfill the desires of others is of paramount importance for them. Somehow these people always appear more happy and content to me. They have a lot of care, concern and compassion. These virtues were possessed in abundance by my dad. He was always watchful, and would always help those who needed help. No one had to ever ask him for help. He simply observed and came forward to help.
He had so much of love and compassion that a crying child who could not be comforted by his own mother would often quieten down as soon as they saw my father.
Daddy was an extremely positive person. There was nothing which could deter him from his chosen path. He believed that we are responsible for everything that happens to us. He said that we are the architects of our future. His fearlessness and absolute honesty made him a person of principles.
I wish I too had the courage to face people with conviction. I wish we would all realize that life is too short, and needs to be lived as we want to.
I don't know where my thoughts on my age changed to choosing the correct words for talking. From then going over to my guide, friend and philosopher was not difficult!!
Never mind, today on what would have been his 86th birthday, I remember my dad with pride and happiness. I am happy that I was his daughter.I will always try to follow his teaching and make my life better and happier!!
