Thursday, November 4, 2010

4th November 2010.





On the see saw Varsha and daddy

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...... but Alas! All too soon, the days, months and years just rolled by and one day without saying goodbye to anyone my dad just died. None of his children was in Delhi when he died. One was in London, one was in Dar es Salaam and one was in Mumbai. None of us had ever thought that daddy would leave us, without telling us that he was going away. He was a very courteous  person and not a single day would pass without his wishing us a hearty Good morning, good evening or good night.
True to his nature, he did not give anyone even one hour of tension or anxiety at the hospital. No one had to EVER do a hospital run for my father. He was always very particular and took good care of his health. He was very regular with his walks, he was very careful with the food that he ate and  he was very generous with his time which was always available to anyone who approached him for anything.
He was a very caring, compassionate,and considerate person who had nothing but kindness for one and all. He was generous to a fault and was very approachable. He would go running to pick up the phone,and never thought that a phone at any odd hour was a disturbance. He could have been eating or sleeping, yet any phone call would always be attended to by him.
His helpful nature was such that anyone could approach him for help, and he would go out of the way to help the person. He would take the people in his own car all over Delhi and speak to any number of people to render help to the person. Often it was a thankless job, and he would not even get a verbal thank you in return. Even this sort of behaviour did not frustrate my father as, he thought that it was his duty to educate people. He would always say that if people do not know how to behave, then it is our duty to teach them.
Long long ago, in the 50's, he was posted at Nagarjuna sagar when the dam was being built. He was Deputy Director and had a jeep, which he loved to drive. While going to Hyderabad, he would give a lift to any number of people who asked for a lift. He would always say I need just a little space to drive, in the rest of the place, you people can adjust. His philosophy was, "arre bhai, bahut jagah hai, dil me jagah honi chahiye". I learnt this from him, and to this day, I can occupy the least possible space and accommodate any number of people in a car.
He was a person who believed whole heartedly in Buddha's philosophy of 'Atta Deep Bhava', which means be your own light. He believed that one must always reason out, and not follow anything blindly. His philosophy was very different from the philosophy of most parents who think that children must obey them as parents know best! We three children were given the freedom to  make all the decisions in our life. After one year of Engineering from IIT Delhi, Sunil my brother decided that he did not really like Engineering, so Daddy asked Sunil to study whatever he wanted to, and sure enough Sunil studied English Literature from St Stephen's College.






FUN LOVING PERSON


When he was Director in the Ministry of Defence Production, at a meeting with Mrs. Indira Gandhi he put forth his arguments on an important matter and convinced the then Prime Minister. Those were the days, when fearless men worked, spoke and were extremely honest!
He used to travel by Bus no 610 from Netaji Nagar to G block, his Office near Sena Bhawan. On returning home he would give his return journey ticket of Rs one to Anurag my son, who would wait everyday to get that ticket. Those were small gestures which brought big smiles.







Anurag with daddy in 2005
He was very simple in his needs. A beautiful song would bring tears to his eyes.He could forgive very easily. He never held a grudge against anyone. It was his generous disposition which made him always see the other side of a person's behaviour. He could reason out, and therefore could forgive easily.
He was extremely fun loving with a great sense of humour. He loved people and was the Pied Piper who could entice children away from their mothers. He was a person who would treat the lowliest of low with respect. He always remained a simple man from the very backward District of Gadchiroli,with impeccable manners, and style of a polished citybred.







Dad and mum 1949.
There are so many memories, which come flooding to my mind. Today, on the 4th death anniversary of my daddy, I wish for the legacy of having the generosity to forgive, the vision to see a beautiful world where there is no disparity, no discrimination, no favouritism, and no nepotism. I wish that I live a life as fulfilling as my father's. I wish that I never hold a grudge against anyone.
I quote from The Dhammapada,my wishes for everyone,


"Sabbe satta sukhi hontu, 

Sarve santu niramaya.

Sarve bhadrani paschchantu

Ma kashchit dukkhbha bhavata”.

Au revoir.

Friday, October 8, 2010

FORTY YEARS OF TIME










MY FAMILY








TRILOKI & I IN LUCERNE

40 years is a long time in any one's life. It is 4 decades, 2 scores, 1 generation and a Ruby wedding anniversary!
Forty, is rather an interesting number.
 It is the atomic number of Zirconium.
The temperatures at which Fahrenheit and Celsius correspond are
 -40°F= -40°C.
The Hanuman Chalisa has 40 verses.
Remember the story of Alibaba and 40 thieves?
Lent consists of forty days before Easter.
There is a saying,"Life begins at forty"
Then there is the proverbial "Forty winks"
The Roman numeral for forty is XL. Rather appropriate as by now one fits into Extra Large clothes!!
Rain fell for 40 days and 40 nights, at the time of deluge, when Noah's arc had to be  used.
Well, that was just some trivia! Now let me get back to the real issue.

IN ROME-TREVI FOUNTAIN

In the last 40 years a lot of water has since gone down the Ganges, Yamuna, Mahanadi, Danube, Thames, Charles, Seine, Gomti!
Where are we now, the people who have been married for the last 40 years? It all started for us on the 12th of October 1970.
We don't seem to have changed much except for the weight, the wrinkles, the worry lines, and the weird sense of humour! Noticed, everything began with the alphabet W? W, which also stands for 'We'
Looking back, one can see two people setting out in life with almost nothing except a lot of hope, dreams, a clean vast horizon, and a whole span of time ahead. We had only a few years of life behind us, but a whole panorama in front of us. We could paint it as we wanted to. Life was ours, time was ours and decisions were ours.
After forty years, I see that the canvas is painted, and the picture is almost complete. The colours are all there, and they are quite co- ordinated.  It is our canvas and our painting. Our painting is very beautiful.
Time has gone by. As journeys are supposed to be, our journey too was not smooth. No journey is, otherwise it would be rather boring! Journeys have their ups and downs, gains and losses. You win some and you lose some! I love travelling and I love journeys. Incidentally we two met for the first time on a train journey, in 1967!
On a journey one experiences the various facets of life, meets new people, sees the world, learns from different environments, faces new challenges, learns to deal with different people, and their moods. Journeys are therefore learning experiences!!
Just as time goes by and seasons change, life too goes by, and ones features change. One’s thinking changes, style changes, and values become relative.
Punishment meted out to your own child is a total no no for your grand child. While your child had to be disciplined, and scolded and corrected, when your grand child repeats the pattern, you beam with great pleasure and are filled with delirious joy! When your child tries to correct his/her child, you are again on the verge of shouting at your child (who is now in the thirties) and telling him/her that children should be given freedom to explore, break things and also be naughty!!
Oh yes it is all a theory of relativity!!!




AALIYA,KUNAAL,AARIA WITH ME
Well, my journey up to here has been interesting, adventurous, and intriguing. I still do not understand my husband, and I guess he too does not understand me. We are still on the trip trying to know each other. Perhaps that is what is keeping us together...the surprise element??
Every year I surprise my husband by buying a present for myself from him, on our wedding anniversary. I do not allow myself to face the disappointment, just in case he forgets to get me something.
About 3 decades back, Triloki or Cuckoo as he is called was a bad smoker. He used to always twist the filter edge of his cigarette butt into a flower and present it to me. Over the years his smoking has reduced and so even these floral gifts that I got, have stopped coming my way. Earlier he did paint a card for me, now he is so busy with his laptop, that if a paint brush and paper found its way in front of him, he would think that it was for writing out a list of grocery!!
Oh yes, time has taken its toll!
Never mind, I shall wait till the morning of 12th October, and then go and buy myself something ruby red in colour, and surprise myself and Cuckoo once again!
Here's to us Cuckoo and Varsha...A Very Happy Anniversary!
Let's keep going on our journey and keep looking at the beautiful landscape and wonders of the world. Life is a journey, so, go on and on and on!!!


SIS IN LAW & MOTHER
This day has triple importance for me. It is my mother's and also my sister in law's birthday! It is a GREAT DAY, a happy day, a joyous day.
THREE CHEERS to all of us.
MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY!!

  
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