Sunday, December 7, 2014

WOULD YOU BRAND ME?

In this age of brands I wonder in which category I would get branded. I will let you decide at the end of what I write.
These days I have been reading a lot of "words" on how a girl child should be treated. Words on how women should be respected. Words that women should not be objectified. I have also read words saying that girls should not dress provocatively. They should not go out alone in lonely and desolate places.
These are words. Words preach, they are thoughts which are expressed.
What happens in reality? In real life? What are the deeds and thoughts of people who use these words?
Please readers do not take MY words personally. I am writing about  people in general  and not about individuals. 
Women are part of "team human". The bodies of men and women are different, their thoughts, behaviour, instincts and inclinations are different. The mental differences are because of age old patterns of evolution, civilisation and restrictions set by different societies.
In the male dominated society of today's world,  women are trying to find their own place, their own identity, their own freedom and equality because equal education has made it possible for women to evolve. Why is it then that women are still not treated as human beings who need to be treated with respect?
I belong to an older generation of working women who had to literally fight for equality at the work place. We had to fight to not be patronised. There were a few who treated us equally but more who were wary of us, and we had to literally prove the point that we were capable and could manage on our own in this so called big bad world. 
Today's working women have a better and more understanding work place and home environment too. More is only a relative term...it is "more" it is not absolute.
When we read of increasing number of rape cases, MMS pictures, and the like we immediately start pontificating about the deteriorating standards and lack of respect for women. The fact is that more girls and their families are taking the bold step of not hiding this fact and are reporting these incidents. It is no longer treated as the fault of the girl. It is being treated correctly as a crime committed by someone else and not the girl. So what was so far hidden behind closed doors has started coming out in the open,   and has become visible.
This indicates a  courageous society and talks of evolving parents and girls. What the Rohtak sisters have done is a step forward in a state where Khap panchayat exists and the patriarchal society is very dominant. I am not judging the actions of those two sisters, but am saying that they have been courageous, bold and are taking action against a very unjust society. They are making their presence felt and not shying away from using actions and words which the so called polite society would not want girls to utter.
Most people  criticise the actions of boys who indulge in eve teasing. What exactly is eve teasing? Is it only about physically ill treating a female on the roadside? What about all those sexist jokes, those cheap jokes, and talks about the different parts of body of women? 
What about voyeurism? Looking at the pictures of girls young enough to be their daughters? If any person has respect for women in general would he like to look at those pictures, talk about anatomy, pass  remarks and derive brownie points amongst his friends? I look at these discussions on social net working sites and wonder about those who indulge in this kind of talk. Fine, you wish to talk about it, but then how and why can you really think that the younger generation should respect girls and women?
I am totally against discrimination of any sort. I do not appreciate jokes made on any community based on their looks or habits. I do not appreciate cheap remarks passed on any person. I only wish that every human being would appreciate and respect every other human being. Having fun, joking does not have to be at the cost of another person. I believe in that. 
Having a superiority complex because you are a man or woman, belong to a particular caste or class, are fair and good looking, is to my mind a complex. 
A Complex according to the  Dictionary is, " In psychology- a group of related, often repressed ideas and impulses that compel characteristics or habitual patterns of thought, feelings and behaviour. An exaggerated or obsessive concern or fear. The combination of factors or signs of a disease or disorder that forms a syndrome. 

The Webster  Dictionary says, "It is a group of repressed desires and memories that exerts a dominating influence upon the personality. It is an exaggerated reaction to or preoccupation with a subject or situation."

Getting voyeuristic pleasure is a malady.  
Talking and joking about the body parts of another gender- just think about it...what would you call it?
My purpose would be served if I have given my readers enough food for thought.
Now it is up to you to brand me as you wish to. 
I promise, I will not be offended.

12 comments:

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Sridhar Raju said," I do not believe in branding. But I would like to commend you on the thought-provoking entry in your blog."

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Pattabhi Raman said," A good collection of thoughts highly relevent in the context of the emerging social scenario where empowered women are coming out of their closets and exploring the frontiers of freedom...My only objection is to the stereotyping of men - and their thinking - in a particular way, which I believe is not entirely correct. ( Sorry, Varshaji, my first comments were from my Smartphone, where I had problem opening and going through the whole Blog... and my first impresiion was you were trying to be branded feminist or something radical like that, making out a case for women empowerment, and describing men's attitudes to this issue short of using the famous phrase MCP ! ) .."

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Pattabhi Raman Sir, thanks for your comments. I did not mean to stereotype men at all. I do not believe that all people are similar. We belong to a world full of diversity. There are men who respect women and there are women who do not respect women. It takes all kinds to make this world what it is. I appreciate your reading and commenting, thanks again.

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Ruchi Lal said,"Very well expressed mam ! No need for branding of any sort if we only raised our boys fine , right from the time began , most of the world's problem would have not been existed at all !"

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

TR Ramaswami said,"Branding of people is against the law, whether it is cold or hot branding."

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Dinesh Kalpathy said,"Good girl!"

Sublimation said...

There is no question of branding here. What you have stated is what you feel and I guess that there is no disputing the fact that is how things have been. But like Pattabhi Raman has observed I also feel that the emerging scenario is one of emerging women's empowerment. There are always two sides to a coin ad so also is human behaviour - a Dr. Jekyll and a Mr. Hyde or a Steppenwolf. But perhaps the whole concept of equality among the sexes is exemplified in Hindu thought by the Ardhanareeswara or the combination of Shiva and Shakti as constituting the life force of the Universe. So you see you cannot brand one without branding the other.

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Bal Gupta said,"One has to understand & accept your perspective n point of view.
Objectively, both genders use humour n wit for leg pulling.
Different societies have different treatment for the stronger sex right from the times of Baba Adam.
The notion of Equality of sexes has yet to register with some (a large chunk) males.
I would brand you as an Optimist n Humanist .
Men prove her right! Improve your Self!"

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Thank you Bal Gupta for your comments. I just wish the world would change just a little bit so that women could enjoy their share of respect and space. I wish for a world where women would not dread to step out of their homes and would not need to arm themselves with courage to ward off eve teasers.

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Jai Gopal Verma said,"Really a good advice,it will take time for the people to understand,probably western culture has more respect to the ladies than india"

Varsha Uke Nagpal said...

Thank you Jai Gopal Verma for reading and your comments. I am an optimist and hope for a better India, where girls and women will be treated as a person who has an independent entity.Recently I saw an advertisement video where three boys are teasing a girl, when the fourth teaser notices that she is his sister. The boy says, "leave her she is my sister" I would like to see that ad which would say," Do not tease" without assigning a reason.

Shashi said...

Very well said for the freedom of women in our country. After reading this I realised it was actually the rape of our freedom in a democratic country. This sense of security that we think we have is stripped off by such action. It might seem that one man taking the dignity of one girl , is actually taking the other girls right of dignified living.
I salute you for expressing your thoughts in such a wonderful manner.

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