MY SONG

Birthdays may come and birthdays may go but memories of time spent together,remain for ever.

It was rather an important birthday, I was turning 60. A great age...I must say. Your day's job is done and it is time for putting up your feet and re-laxing. Whoa,what a feeling.

I was going to be in Nashua, New Hampshire, where my son Anurag lives with his wife Jharna and daughter Aaria. Chaitali my daughter who lives in London also decided to join us with her children. My mother had accompanied me from Delhi.What could be better than this?

There was so much excitement in London when I landed there en route to Nashua. Then the flight and Nashua!!

It was a landmark birthday. 60 years is a long long time in a person's life.

One has gone through the entire gamut of living. All those challenges, expectations, growth hassles, competitions, misunderstandings, misrepresentations, back biting, people pulling you down.....there is really so much drama in life!!

Looking back, I can only laugh at so many mistakes I made. I also laugh at how naive I was. How easily I could be taken for a ride. How silly I was, and how I trusted everyone left, right and center.

I used to think that if I excelled in my job, and delivered the goods, I would be appreciated and the powers that be would realise my worth and congratulate me on my achievements. How naive is that?? I learnt  very late, much to my chagrin, that unless one blows one's own trumpet, there is no recognition, whatsoever.

There were so many things which left me totally zapped.

Looking back now, I remember so many things which could have been managed in a different manner. But then that is hind sight, and wisdom comes only after living on earth for a long time. In spite of having learnt my lesson, I have not yet started blowing my own trumpet. Life is such that, one needs to blow ones trumpet, all the time. We live in a society, where we are expected to play a role. Even if played in the best manner,one is never given one's due unless one makes the others feel obliged.

Anyway, that is me.

My children had decided to surprise me on my birthday and so only one day before my birthday, I was told to pack a small overnight bag as we were going out. I still remember Aaliya was finding it very difficult to keep the secret from me.  My birthday was a beautiful day, spent fully with my family. Secretly a cake was baked for me with icing and decorations brought from London.It was kept hidden in the fridge. With much fanfare it was brought out and eaten. Then we went to a beautiful place called Lake Winniepesaukee. We had a lovely family suite and everyone had lots of fun. Relaxing on the beach,  building sand castles, playing in the ice cold water, spending valuable time with the entire family, was divine bliss. I was also given a very beautiful and precious gift by my children, in addition to their time and attention. They all made me feel very very special. 

Now, I realize that I am happy for all that I have. Many times I feel that my life could have been better. I deserved more. However, on second thoughts I realize that what I have got is really a lot and then I feel happy and satisfied.

Wisdom I have in plenty now, yet I do not use it  for my own self. I am what I was. I remain my own old self.

In some things I have changed. I live and am glad for every day that I live. I am happy and accept that the life that I lead has been chosen by me. Today I have no compulsions to do anything, yet I work, keep myself busy, learn new things, look for beautiful moments of life and cherish them.

A few days back my son's friend said to me that every person has a song, I took that sentence very seriously, and found that this thought was very unique. We are all unique people and yet try to keep conforming to the norms set by society at large.  Now I know that one has to find one's own song. It could transform one's entire life and the meaning of life.

We usually live very stereotyped lives, where work becomes the be all and end all of life. Work, job satisfaction, oneupmanship, upward progress, more money, becomes our target. We fret unnecessarily.We move in the wrong direction. These are not the things which make a person happy. Happiness is somewhere else. It is time to think and discover your own song. Sing before it is too late....

As it is I have entered the new forties...I still have enough time to start afresh.