BELATED FATHER'S DAY

Father, Papa, Daddy, Dad, Pitaji, Babuji, all are words that denote a person. It defines a person who is responsible for our existence. He is one half of our baby world. A person who keeps a stiff upper lip. The one who does all those mundane, uninteresting, boring, tough jobs. He does not cry with you. He keeps a tough exterior as he wants you to be brave. He does not molly coddle you when you are feeling down in the dumps. He asks you to be brave and face the world. No sheltering and pampering, and bending down to your persistent tantrum. He is the tough one, who makes you stand on your feet.

He also has emotions, he is a human being too, but since either your mother or father has to be strong and tough, he takes up that role, as a mother is softer and more vulnerable.

We do not often appreciate our father as he always disciplines us. A man is supposed to be tough - "supposed"....that is how it has been decided by society. Is it actually like that or has that been defined and so that is the way a man is expected to behave? How often have we told our son, "Don't cry like a girl?" Why do we let them grow up to believe that girls cry, but boys are not supposed to cry. Boys have to learn early to control their emotions. They have to keep the stiff upper lip. In a crisis a man has to show courage, be brave and lead. They are trained to do that.

That is the reason we see our father as the person who we cannot take for a ride. A mother gets swayed by emotions, she cries when she sees her child hurt. She soothes and calms down a whining child. A soft father is a rarity. They do have their emotions. They support you when you are weak. They give you the courage to withstand the difficulties in life. They teach you to fight back. They show you the world as it is. A tough place-where one has to be able to fight on one's own.

In moments of pain or agony or sorrow we are liberal with the use of the words,"Oh maaaaa,","Mummmmmyyyyyyyy". But remember what we utter in moments of astonishment or danger,"Baap re".

Father-the silent supporter, the appearing to be stone hearted person is also a loving and kind person at the end of the day. It is time to demonstrate and give up inhibitions-on both sides.

This was written on Father's Day when I remembered my father who was compassion and kindness personified. A very thoughtful and loving person who is sorely missed. I also thought of all those people who would wish their father today and thought of the father who would now wait for the next year to get another demonstration of affection from his children. Sometimes that next year does not come.....