INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

8th of March every year reminds me of my niece Shayari who was born on this day. It is also International Women's Day. 1975 was the year when United Nations declared this day as the International Women's Day. The theme this year is "Women and men unite to end violence against women." A very apt theme, as violence has always been perpetrated against women, be it physical or mental, and perpetrators have been both men and women.

Men and women were born equal in this world. Social norms decided a code of conduct. In a world which was ruled by the dictum of "Survival of the fittest", women the physically weaker person fell back on the path of progress and took the second position.

In India in ancient times, or the Vedic times, we had very well educated and emancipated women who were second to none as far as their wisdom was concerned. We have the example of Lopamudra, Maitreyi and Gargi, who were all well known for being outstanding in the art of debate, were philosophers and were wise. Lopamudra challenged Yajnavalkya to a debate on Atma and also yoga. There are ten hymns written by Maitreyi included in the Rig Veda. Gargi composed hymns that questioned origin of all existence. As time progressed women were given secondary position and she became the shadow of her husband and had to follow in his footsteps. We have Sita who was repeatedly tormented by her husband, abandoned, and had to keep proving her virtue until she could take it no more. Draupadi who was lost in a game of dice. Kaikeyi and Manthara were depicted as scheming and vile.

Meerabai who composed beautiful poetry was abandoned and had to drink poison. Any woman who tried to raise a voice and say something was done away with. There have been only a handful of women rulers down the history of this nation. Razia Sultan, Chand Bibi, Ahilyabai Holkar, Laxmibai, are the names I remember. Women were never in the lineage to the throne. A male heir was always needed. Even an adopted person could be the heir to the throne but never a daughter, except in matrilineal societies.

In spite of these disadvantages, and retrograde pattern of society, women have managed to remain afloat. The different practices that were followed of sati, burning of witches at the stake in the western world, the atrocities on widows, and child marriage, was a systematic destruction of the wisdom and resilience of women.

Women were indoctrinated to believe in all these practices. They were the worst victims and yet the worst perpetrators of torture and crime against women. Through the fear of religion and scriptures they were trained to follow the rules without questioning anything.

Even today the TV serials are nothing but a total destruction of the self confidence of women in general. They are shown as either the always tearful, sacrificing, totally devoted to the family woman or the absolute scheming monster who is out to destroy everyone. It appears as though there are no normal women in these serials. It is such a powerful media and yet it is sadly misused. A country which watches and learns, needs more responsible programmes on TV.

There were some film makers who made women oriented and good films (in the good old days!!!!) like V Shantaram. His women were always strong. Others who made meaningful women oriented movies were Aruna Raje, Sai Paranjpe, Shyam Benegal, Aparna Sen, Mahesh Bhatt.

Times have changed and women today are emancipated. The present generation are reaping the benefits of my generation. When I joined The State Bank of India as a Probationary Officer in 1975, we were only six ladies in a total batch of 300 Officers. In service, I noticed that we were always given positions which were desk jobs. Touring and Field jobs were usually not given to us. The attitude was quite patronising. We had to fight to get field postings.

At home the attitude of the in- laws was that they expected the daughter- in- law to cook in the morning, work in the office during the day and go back home and cook dinner. She was told categorically that she worked because she wanted to and no one had asked her to work. She therefore never got any help in the management of the household. Life was very tough for working women of my generation, as we had to prove that we were efficient workers in the office and an efficient bahu in the house. There could be no compromise anywhere. We worked because we had to prove to ourselves that we "existed" and that we had our own position in the world, not merely as the wife of Mr. so and so. The women of today are treated better in their work place. They have more understanding in- laws, as the women of my generation who laid the path to today's progress are the in- laws now.

Yet, even today there are a lot of women who are not really treated as equal. It is for us to show by example that we are equal, we are neither superior nor inferior. We must demand equality and fair treatment. Equality in words, deeds and thought, that is the right of a woman. Both men and women need to realise this and make some changes in their life and thinking to make the world a better place for everyone. No patronising attitude (eg "Oh she is my better half") and nothing derogatory ("Oh she is my getter half", or "must be a woman driver") should be tolerated by women. Perhaps then as we evolve, there will be a day when true equality will be achieved, and there will be no violence against women.