William Shakespeare, the Bard who lived in England from 1564 to 1616 said,
"All the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts".
To these famous words I simply add that the actors depart hastily without a "by your leave" as soon as the curtain comes rolling down.
Your life’s script is written by you, the acting is all yours. You are totally responsible for your own life. What you learn, observe, believe, assume, imagine throughout life helps you to decide upon your next act. Throwing a tantrum, being humorous, funny, pleasant, friendly, grumpy, sad, distraught is all decided by you from one moment to another, the act also differs depending upon the spectators watching.
In the middle of a strange group you are always at your best behaviour and project the image that you want them to have of you. When alone with your loved ones, you disarm, you show your raw passion, your deep seated insecurity comes to the fore, your fears, your sadness, your own truth bares its fangs, and you come down heavily without that facade that you put on for strangers, on those who trust you implicitly and love you threadbare. Are your loved ones your own alter egos? What makes you want to hurt them the most? Because you trust that they will not leave you, betray you? They are like your shadow which you totally disregard, never see, never acknowledge and yet it never leaves you. It is always there, with you.
I recently heard a conversation between two friends who were meeting after eight years. A beautiful young lady, well dressed, smart and oozing confidence narrated her woes to her friend after some cajoling. Her husband who is well placed is having an affair with a colleague, but does not agree to go in for a divorce which the wife wants. He says, "This is the way I am, you will have to adjust". The pretty lady does not want to enrich lawyers at her cost, nor wash dirty linen in public, she asks for a respectable divorce, which is denied to her.
I felt very sorry to hear this tale as the lady is entrapped in a marriage where all her life she will have to enact the role of a happily married woman, knowing very well that her husband does not love her.
Even in the # MeToo movement, a number of women from different walks of life are coming out to expose their tormenters. In the process they are also exposing their own self to immense judgements from all and sundry. All these years these women had been putting up a brave, happy, confident face, although they had been hurting with the immense pain caused to them by their colleagues who were callous, and had no respect for fellow human beings.
Recently at a party, I overheard a group of senior menfolk saying, "There should be a stop to this #MeToo movement. Look at the houses that are breaking, look at the poor men who are being exposed, look at the humiliation these poor men are facing."
The women in the same group said, "It is all the fault of the women. These women provoke the men, they become very friendly, they talk freely, they go out for parties, then why are they complaining now? "
It set me thinking.
Does it really matter to the world who you are or what is your intellectual capability? Does it matter to anyone about what your preferences are or what is it that you want to achieve in life? You set out to work with equal opportunity, but all that you get is the acknowledgement that you are a woman, not an equal. If you have the audacity to talk in a friendly way, then it is presumed that you are game to all those silly innuendoes. Those in a position of power use their position to make your life miserable by seeking favours, harassing you, not giving you your due, stopping your transfer, increment, promotion, insulting and humiliating you without batting an eyelid if you refuse to succumb. Most women do not succumb, some resist, put up a fight, some succumb, but each one of them suffers in silence. They do keep up their appearances. They wrap themselves up nicely, projecting an image of confidence, grace, happiness and success.
Everyone you meet in your journey through life is a judge. Mostly the judges are brutal, harsh, they use barbs, they hurt, they make you lose your confidence and yet you smile through your pain. Why does one smile through that pain?
Exposing your pain will give them - your spectators, your judges more opportunity to hurt you. Your raw hurt needs to be kept under wraps, so that they don’t know where to hurt you next.
You save yourself, shed tears of anger quietly, hate yourself, and yet figure out how to face all those judges masquerading as your friend, philosopher and guide.
Very seldom does one come across a genuine real person who does not want to get even with you, does not want to judge you, understands you.
This person is the one who believes in equality.
