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| ALONE ! |
Each
person in this world is an island by himself. We all live alone, all
by ourselves. Throughout life we keep building up
relationships. Parents, siblings, spouse, children...everyone relates
to the other and lives within these boundaries.
In
spite of this we are all alone. Our thoughts, desires, hopes,
aspirations, are totally individualistic. What hurts us, what makes
us feel humiliated is also different One mans meat is another man's
poison.
What
we like to eat, how we like to sleep, how we want to spend our free
time is all our own. We are all lonely people who try to maintain peace and harmony at home so that we can combat our loneliness. We therefore give in to anothers demands, advice and solicitations.
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| CO EXISTENCE MOUNTAIN, HOUSE, TREES! |
We
simply go on accommodating every one else. Trying to keep up with the
Joneses, trying one up man ship Trying and simply trying some more.
Ultimately
do we really get any peace and happiness? None of us can live devoid
of company, yet even surrounded by everyone else too, often life is
lived in solitude. It is quite a lonely existence. A child waiting
for endless domestic quarrels to end, a wife waiting for her
tormentor of a husband to leave her in peace, an old mother waiting
for a word with her son, a distraught husband trying very hard to
keep peace with his acid tongued wife. Loneliness, engulfs everyone.
Each one is fighting a battle every day.
Why
is there so much strife, discontent,ego? Why is there the endless
effort to blame someone else for all your mistakes?
We
take life so much for granted, we take our beloved people so much for
granted, that it is only when some disaster strikes that we realize
that there are many more dangers lurking in our life. There are many
more problems that can make our world go topsy turvy. We fight over
senseless things like a car honking behind us, at the fellow who
pushes us out of the queue, at the maid servant who was absent
without notice. We fret, fume and spill venom through our tongue. I
wonder if that takes us anywhere. We only spoil our own day further.
We build up our anxiety level, build up our blood pressure and spoil
our health. Can we not live in peace? Accept that each one of us is
different. Each has their own likes and dislikes, each one has their
own space, which must not be violated.
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Let
us live in harmony. Loneliness exists even in a relationship. Therefore keeping up the dialogue, but also allowing our
own family members the freedom to choose what they want is important. To live
life as they want, live harmoniously with some give and take, respect
and consideration for the others. A kind thought and sensitivity to
the emotional needs of the others.
Tolerance,
acceptance, adjustments are not mere words. They are very important
actions that need to be made a practice in our life.
9 comments:
REALLY EXCELLENT AND BRILLIANT WRITE UP. WHILE I FULLY AGREE WITH YOUR EACH AND EVERY SENTENCE,WHAT I LIKE MOST IS THE FACT THAT EACH ONE OF US IS DIFFERENT AND EACH HAS THEIR OWN LIKES AND DISLIKES AND HAS THEIR OWN SPACE, WHICH SHOULD NOT BE VIOLATED BUT RESPECTED.
Is "own space" another name for ego? Can loneliness be reduced by allowing at least someone into our "own space"?
There are two states of existence when we are left to our ourselves - loneliness and aloneness. while the first arises out of our need to be wanted and in the process being isolated, the second is the stage where you talk of 'Own Space'. the second is our own choice and relished by us and a space where we retreat to consciously. Ultimately, the reality is we are 'alone',its the bonds of relationships that tie us down and we grow used to be being bound, so when each of these strings breakdown we feel the pain. Very deep thoughts expressed by you and reflects your search for identity.
Sorry, Varsha, I think the post lacks clarity. The initial paragraphs have one theme (loneliness) and the latter paragraphs have another theme (living in harmony). They may be connected but to string them together does not help. Even within one theme, it is not clear why we give in to everybody because we feel lonely. There is an argument there but it has not come out well. I think we are basically many people in one body. It is only great men/women who can be one person. For most of us, there is one person inside who wants to be alone and there is another person inside who seeks company and confirmation. A third person inside is jealous, angry and confrontationist. One of them predominates depending on our upbringing and circumstances. Our story is the story of all these people inside
I read Vaikuntam's comments and thought I should add a further dimension to this entire introspection. it is true that we are composed of different personalities within us and the search for harmony among these is a lifelong quest. That state of aloneness is where you find the harmony. What Vaikuntam says is true but it is from the lessons learnt from the story of all these people within you that you find your own space, may be we call it 'Our Space'.
Shreekumar Thampy, Own space is not ego. That is a space where each person is by himself. Not lonely but alone, to rejoice, grieve, feel hurt and lick one's wounds. This is a space where no one is welcome, a space which is privy only to your own self. In fact no one can feel and experience your pain, misery or happiness, as you would. Normally we guard that space and do not allow anyone inside that space. We do try to live with others but that alone ness is our own private space. GS Subramanian has spoken about the difference between loneliness and alone ness.
Vaikuntam, I agree the topic has got two dimensions. Loneliness and harmony are two different subjects but they are connected to each other. We are lonely people yet we like to remain cocooned within a safe group. We do want to remain alone mostly when we grieve, when we rejoice, when we are scared and when we wish to harm some one. No one but the wearer can feel the pinch of the shoe, similarly we like to feel our emotions alone. No one can feel my emotions as I would.Therefore I would not like an intrusion there. In spite of our loneliness, we live in packs. We therefore have to adopt the attitude of living in harmony with the others. On a lighter note.... a friend says harmony is haar maani, which means, I have accepted defeat. Therefore we who do have so many different facets to our own self, as you have said, one who wants to be alone, another who seeks company and confirmation another who is jealous, angry and the one who confronts. We seek appreciation for all that we do, yet wish to savor the joy alone. We may celebrate an achievement with friends & family, yet the immense joy that one feels is his alone.Remaining alone, respecting another's aloneess while living in harmony is what I think leads to happiness.
Thank you G S Subramanian, your interpretation is very apt. Indeed loneliness and alone ness are different aspects. Loneliness needs company but alone ness is where we want to be by ourselves and allow no intrusions.
Hemendra Kumar Trivedi said,"Heart is talking all the time but being engaged in mundane,we don't listen."
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