How
do I look for hope in a dark and dingy world?
Where
do I look for light when I am inside a deep dark tunnel?
I
dread going to the desert, as I fear a dust storm,
I
dread going to the sea, as I dread the strong waves,
I
dread climbing mountains, as I am scared of falling off,
I
dread living as death is where I will end.
What
can I do with my fears?
How
do I handle my life?
Which
mistakes must I rectify?
Which
milestone that I crossed,was the one that I should have turned back
from?
What
do I seek?
Where
do I go?
What
is my mistake?
How
have I become responsible for everything?
The
bad, the worse and the worst?
What
went wrong that I never did anything right?
Who
are these people who surround me all the time?
Can
I be left alone to decipher who am I?
10 comments:
wonderful lines, sharp questions indicating helpless situation.
May be the beginnings of 'Nausea' as Sartre would term it. You have ended the post with 'who am I?'the question that led to Ramana Maharishi's self realisation. All the best in your quest, your search for the meaning of life.
On the heavier side:
Tattvamasi. You in its original, pure, primordial state is identifiable with the ultimate reality (not to be confused with the penultimate and ultimate rounds of reality shows), which is the origin of all phenomena, which, in other words, is oneness in essence between 'tat' and individual self. Or one can say 'tat' is the whole and self is a part. Or in more complicated words guaranteed to make you give up all attempts to find your 'tit' in 'tat', brahman which is the common reality behind everything in the cosmos is the same as the essential divinity, namely the atman, within you, your innermost self, stripped of all egoistic tendencies. In case you don’t find this “inconceivable oneness”, the difference between individual self as a part of the whole which is 'tat', you’re at risk of losing your unique identity as in UID.
On the lighter side:
As Oscar Wilde said, only the shallow know themselves. He adds that the final mystery is oneself. So let's be happy in our ignorance, which is bliss according to many unhappy knowledgeable persons, especially "when 'tis folly to be wise". You better heed to Goethe's warning, "If I knew myself, I would run away." Despite all these, if you still try to discover yourself, please wear ear plugs because "Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing", warns August Wilson, failing which you may be shaken, not stirred, like Bond's vodka martini.
On the reality side, whether it is Tat Tvam Asi or Aham Brahmasmi, or like Oscar wilde says 'Lets be happy in our ignorance' or Goethe,s warning, I guess it is an individual experience and one cannot deny that the angst is real. It is easily said that lets be happy in our ignorance but are you really in a position or do you have the necessary strength to be able to make that choice. How can one say that if one found oneself he will run away, if so where and to what. One has to find one's own answers, maybe looking around yourself would help you find answers to understand yourself better. The questions that Varsha asks herself have risen to different individuals at different stages of their life. these questions are real and how we tackle them and chart out a course for ourselves will determine as to how authentic we make our lives be. On the scientific side 'The Tell Tale Brain' by Dr.V.S.Ramachandran has interesting conclusions from the neuro scientific angle.
Pattabhiraman said,"Life's philosophical enigmas !"
Ravi Easwaran said," My take is that we have ended up making spirituality a very complicated affair. Spirituality is about living the life of the spirit. (Atman/Brahman). The nature of the spirit is "a continuous state of bliss". Sat_chid_ananda.
Let us refuse to be miserable in this world and be happy in the face of every experience which befalls us.
If we can do that, we are living the highest spiritual life."
Seema Kumar said,"THESE R THE QUESTIONS WHICH EVERY PERSON MUST BE GETTING HAUNTED WITH.MAYBE THE GOD PARTICLE WILL COME TO OUR RESCUE."
Pratap Singh Rathaur said,"Life is indeed a voyage of discovery.This sentence itself answers all the questions you have articulated in your blog.'Discovery' connotes exploring the unknown...curiosity about the unknown which, in view of the rather short span of human life, is infinite.And voyage, ofcourse, means journey.It follows that journey is the answer to all the turmoil of human mind So journey is the thing...journey is the adventure/ romance which makes the life so interesting.As long as you keep on journeying you will be living the answer.Best of luck."
GS Subbu said,"I reproduce a stanza from my poem 'Illusions' which I had posted on my blog. The comment by Shri.Rathaur puts it very nicely. "Life is just a river that flows,
On its way it winds and grows,
To settle down in tranquillity,
To finally merge with the sea”."
Hey Varsha! Why are you raising such questions which nobody so far has been able to answer. I think "Aham Brahmosmi." If there is some power in this universe which is governing us all, a part of that has to be in me too for without that I would not have existed.If I am part of that Ultimate Brahm, so long as I am doing whatever I am doing, keeping my conscience clear, I think I am on the right track and do not have to worry. The day I kill my conscience, I will be miserable and will start raising questions and start seeking answers. Relax. Life is a long and uncertain journey and every moment of this journey needs to be savoured. Who knows what is in store for us tomorrow? Kal kisne dekha hai, kal kisne jana hai..So live in Here and Now. That is life.
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