When things are good we don't realise that nothing comes free in this world. Even the breath that we inhale needs us to exhale. If we do not give but only take, then we are likely to spoil goodwill and generate imbalance. It is very easy to hurt someone, to cause misunderstandings, and to build up reservoirs of resentment which lead to strained relationships.
One keeps harbouring ill feelings and building up barriers. We seldom talk and clear misunderstandings. Our own thoughts keep on putting up one barrier after another, until we completely move very far away from some people, without there actually being any real reason for building up that barrier. One has to actually forgive and forget. Not forgiving a person for something that could just be a misunderstanding keeps on hurting us forever, as we keep reminding ourselves of that hurt. If I forgive that offender of "once", I will move on free of that burden of pain, and misery. We are the ones who harm our own self. The power to attain happiness and move on in life is within our own self. No one hurts me, no one harms me, it is I alone who is responsible. We have the power to brood over sad thoughts or move on. Moving on is best because a rolling stone gathers no moss!
Dwelling on the past, takes us back to the same old street of pain. Old hurts need time to heal. Even if a scar remains, at least the hurt has gone.
Forgiving opens up large vistas of freedom from suffering, pain and resentment. I remember the words of my father, who was a great forgiver. He always said "forgive them, because they are ignorant". Then I always used to argue with him, and say why should you forgive? If someone has harmed you, there is no need to forgive that person. Dad would not argue with me but would leave me with that thought. Now, I realise that it is magnanimous to forgive, and we human beings, have great capacity to do what we wish to do. Faith moveth mountains. Have faith in your own self and sure enough you will be able to move that mountain of hatred, venom, grudge, fear and feeling of inadequacy and failure from yourself.
Once free of these incapacitating feelings, one can always find a place of sunshine, happiness, brightness and enjoy life, as it is meant to be enjoyed.
3 comments:
Aparna Lal Das said: Inspiring ! We do usually get caught up in such misunderstandings. If only human nature was less complex!
Very well expressed Varsha... all these actions make life worth-living... otherwise one keeps destroying one's own self only.
I guess as you move on in life having experienced all the pains and pleasures of relationships, we will be able to forgive and forget. The words of your father are the words of a man who has seen it all. but very nicely put in by you. I was happy to see the photograph of the waves. I am always overwhelmed by the immensity of the sea and the sound of the waves.
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